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Emotionally Aware Parenting
The Smallest Word that Makes the Biggest Difference: "I"
Is Valentine’s Day good or bad for your relationship?
Valentine’s Day is supposed to be the romantic day of the year, or so we’re led to believe by card manufacturers, chocolatiers, jewellery shops, florists, restaurants and travel brokers! But why is it, and what does it actually mean to you, your partner and for your relationship? We look at the good and bad in our latest blog!
Is Your Relationship Due For A Service?
Most couples with children are in their relationship for the long haul. And just like anything else you rely on for your happiness and wellbeing, if you want your partnership to go the distance, you need to take time to look at it, look after it, maintain it, protect it - and at times even repair it.
Relationship maintenance is like keeping a car in great working order. There’s no better feeling than having things hum along nicely as you’re holding hands and heading to the horizon together. So, using that analogy, we’ve taken the basic requirements a vehicle needs to stay roadworthy and applied it to a relationship.
Three words you won’t want to hear these holidays if you’re trying to conceive
As others talk and reminisce about the year that’s passed and their hopes for the coming twelve months, this can be an incredibly emotional time for you and your partner. Add into the mix that the whole festive period is centred around one of the most religious and well- known pregnancies and birth in the world, you may feel that ache even more intensely particularly if you are asked ‘any news yet?’
Nine ways to plan for your first Christmas with baby.
While the festive period is a unique time of year for most families, whether an extended family, blended family or a single parent family, if you’re a brand new parent of a newborn or even an 11 month old, this is your first Christmas together as a family of three so it’s going to be an extra special holiday. You’ll want it to be memorable for all the right reasons – and that has a lot to do with your expectations.
Five Relationship Gifts to Give Your Partner This Christmas
Couples at Christmas: Long distance relationships
Relationships come in all different shapes and sizes – and sizes, for some couples, includes the travelling distance between them!
Though some couples (even with families) manage to have happy, fulfilling permanent long-distance relationships, on the whole, long distance circumstances when you’re planning a family or have young children are due to commitments one or other of you have elsewhere. This could be due to shift work, work in remote locations, study, deployment, caring for elderly or ill parents or any other of the myriad of factors families live with.
So, how can you make long distance work as a couple and as a family at any time, not just during the holidays?
Couples at Christmas: 6 things every couple should discuss BEFORE the holidays
The Holidays. It’s a time of year that promotes joy, harmony and togetherness. And often arguing,disagreement and falling out over how to actually achieve this!
Discussion, finding areas of agreement and some forward planning can help you both achieve the celebration that’s right for your family.
Here’s 6 key areas you’d do well to discuss NOW in order to enjoy an (almost) stress-free, loving end of year:
When Your Sex Needs Differ
Book Blog Tour: First Stop - Podcast with Rebecca Wong and Barb Suárez
Sex life after baby - Is anybody doing it?
He wants it - you don’t, or maybe it’s the other way around? Let’s face it, either way, your sex life is likely to suffer when you’ve had a baby – and there are good reasons why. You might not be surprised (and maybe even relieved!) that around 80% of new mothers lose their mojo after they’ve had a baby.
More Fights After Baby? Join the Club!
Did You Notice The Parenthood Gap?
The "transition" into parenthood? Really???
Professionals commonly call it the "transition into parenthood", which makes it sound like you gently stroll into it, but for parents many days can feel more like "Survivor" than a walk in the park!
And "transition" is misleading. Relationship Counsellor, Parenthood Researcher (and mother of three) Elly Taylor discovered that parents go through multiple transitions - and that some are more challenging than others. She created 8 steps to guide parents through them. Find out more below.
Your Other Newborn Health Check
It’s been a month or so since you had your baby and things have started to settle down. You’re getting into a sort-of routine, the visitors have dried up and bub excelled at their last health check. Now it’s time for another important check-up: how’s your relationship doing?
This may come as a shock, but according to research, 67% of couples report declined relationship satisfaction in their baby’s first few years. So if you’re starting to sense this in your own relationship – don’t panic! You’re normal and you’re not alone! It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, your partner or your partnership - you have probably both been doing an extra great job of giving your precious newborn all your love, attention, and energy. Now you can relax and start to send some of it your partner’s way again.
So when the washing pile is low enough for you to both to peer over it, you might want to check in and see how your partner is doing. They might be missing you - and how things were between you. Some dads can feel a bit excluded through pregnancy, birth and early parenting. I remember one new dad saying this:
"We've got a baby, but I've lost my wife."
Chances are, when you have time to actually stop and reflect, you’ve been missing your partner too. So now’s the time to turn it around and for you both to re-connect as a couple at the same time you’re both bonding with your baby.
To take that first step back to each other, when you have a quiet time, initiate an open conversation. Acknowledge how things have been for you, and ask your partner how they’re doing. From there, make it a priority for the health of your relationship to spend time together, even just for a few minutes, to catch up with each other.
Just as your baby is doing, you’re both going through some big changes and adjustments - most of them occurring on the inside. Let your partner in and let them know you want to know what’s happening inside them too. Here’s a great resource for you both to read as a starting point.
Then it’s the little things that can make a big difference.
Easy to forget in the blur of sleep deprivation, but a simple “please” and “thankyou” shows your appreciation for each other. Apologising if you say something hurtful mends harm. A hug morning and night lovingly bookends each day. Texting or emailing fond thoughts to each other in between means you can stay connected even if your days are now so different.
Sharing a foot rub or taking a walk together in the evenings are a great way to celebrate your relationship – after all, that’s what created your beautiful bub in the first place.
And, over time, they will thank you for it.