It’s common for couples at ANY life stage to have different libidos, let alone when that particular stage involves intense fatigue, extra stresses and little listening ears. Knowing how to manage this can make this phase more passing than permanent for you and your partner.
When we love our partner and baby so much, we naturally want to be the best wife and mother we can be. Many of us leave a career focus behind for a while to do this. But we can also put unnecessary pressure on ourselves (and perhaps our partner) to do more or be more than is really necessary or helpful.
You’re a few months (or years!) into parenthood and life has changed. Big time. But as your partner calls to let you know he’s meeting his mates for their regular Friday Night Drinks (because he’s “worked hard all week”), you realise things haven’t changed nearly as much for him as they have for you and you can’t help but want to scratch his eyes out. How do you cope with your partner still having an active social life when you’re stuck at home with bub? Should he give it up? Cut back? Or should you just call the babysitter and join him?
As delighted as they are at the prospect of starting a family, many dads-to-be also experience some anxiety, particularly about feathering the new nest. Most couples make a birth preferences plan - it’s a good idea to do a postpartum plan, including finances, as well. This frees you up to make those wondrous first few months as financially stress free as possible.
He wants it - you don’t, or maybe it’s the other way around? Let’s face it, either way, your sex life is likely to suffer when you’ve had a baby – and there are good reasons why. You might not be surprised (and maybe even relieved!) that around 80% of new mothers lose their mojo after they’ve had a baby.
Professionals commonly call it the "transition into parenthood", which makes it sound like you gently stroll into it, but for parents many days can feel more like "Survivor" than a walk in the park!
And "transition" is misleading. Relationship Counsellor, Parenthood Researcher (and mother of three) Elly Taylor discovered that parents go through multiple transitions - and that some are more challenging than others. She created 8 steps to guide parents through them. Find out more below.