Hi, I'm Elly Taylor, the founder of Becoming Us

Can I share something with you..?

When I became a parent — while also working as a relationship counsellor — I was struck by something no one had prepared me for.

People often talk about how challenging the first year of marriage can be.
What they don’t talk about is how much harder the first year of parenthood can be.

Yes, there is joy, love, wonder, and moments that take your breath away.
And there are also times that feel gritty, disorienting, and surprisingly hard on relationships.

What troubled me most wasn’t that parenthood was challenging — it was that so many parents were facing these changes without a map.

Listening to parents changed everything

As I listened more closely — in counselling rooms, classes, and everyday conversations — a clear pattern emerged.

Parents weren’t failing.
They were navigating one of the biggest developmental transitions of adult life without language, preparation, or support for what was normal.

Research confirmed what parents were living:

• most couples experience increased tension and disagreement after the birth of a baby

• relationship strain is a major contributor to distress, anxiety, and depression in pregnancy and early parenthood

And yet, parents were rarely told this — let alone guided through it together.

A different possibility

Over time, one thing became clear to me:

Parenthood doesn’t have to pull partners apart.
It can become a turning point where couples grow into a deeper, stronger version of “us”.

With the right preparation, language, and support, parents can:

• understand the changes they’re experiencing

• stay connected rather than drifting apart

• face challenges hand-in-hand

• and grow into family life with more steadiness and trust in each other

This belief sits at the heart of Becoming Us.

I wrote Becoming Us — and later developed the wider approach — to help parents prepare for the harder parts of parenthood so they can enjoy the joys more fully.

From lived experience to a shared map

Over the past 15 years, Becoming Us has grown into a unique relationship-developmental approach to pregnancy, birth, and early parenthood.

It is grounded in:

• research

• clinical practice

• and lived experience

and informed by adult attachment theory and developmental psychology.

What began as a guidebook for parents has evolved into an approach now shared by parents, professionals, and organisations seeking more relational, preventative, whole-family support.

Working alongside parents, professionals, and systems

I’ve been honoured to present the Becoming Us approach at national and international conferences and contribute as a Subject Matter Expert to university research projects developed through Monash University (Emotional Experiences of Early Parenthood), Newcastle University (SMS for Dads), the Australian Catholic University (Supporting Your Partner when you have a Baby), and for Columbia University (Birth and Corona Project) in New York.

I have also contributed to the COPE website, and I’m on the advisory board of the International Forum for Wellbeing in Pregnancy.

Across all of this work, my focus has remained the same: supporting parents early, relationally, and with compassion — before challenges harden into distress.

Still curious. Still learning.

These days (family aside), my favourite thing is travelling when I can — meeting parents and professionals around the world, listening to their experiences, and continuing to learn how Becoming Us can serve families more wisely and more widely.

This year, much of that learning is being shaped into writing: an updated edition of Becoming Us, and a memoir, Pause, exploring marriage, identity, and transition.

If our paths cross — in a room, a workshop, or somewhere unexpected — I hope we get the chance to connect.

Warmly,