If you’re living mostly in isolation with your partner due to Covid-19 at least one of the following is likely to apply to you.
1. There will be a baby boom in 9 months
Let’s face it. There’s only so many things couples can do when in isolation! So it’s no surprise that some couples will decide that this is the right time to start (or expand) a family. Planning (or discovering you’re pregnant) during isolation can be both worrying and an exciting distraction.
There will be many things to consider, particularly during these unusual times. If this is your first pregnancy, you may want to seek the support of someone who has recently had a baby. This is because there are inevitably going to be restrictions or changes to procedure that are not normally in place, so it’s important to ensure you are receiving the correct level of care and provided with the correct advice. For example, some hospitals are not allowing partners to be present during ultrasound scans (they are actually not even allowed to enter the hospital). Home births are reportedly being restricted and hospital appointments are being reduced, so while the birth may still be months away, you’ll need to discuss with your partner and care provider what your options are and how they may change closer to the time.
2. You need to organise your home life like never before (particularly if you have kids and are now working from home).
For some, this is a dream come true. More time with your partner, no commuting, no school runs, just getting up and going to work – in your pyjamas! Those are very big positives. The downside is, you may have to work in shifts – one entertaining/home schooling the children while the other works and vice versa. You will also need to plan and organise extra meals as everyone will be eating at home. Drawing up a rota for cooking, cleaning, down time and working is a great way to ensure everyone knows how the day will run. And remember, everyone is important. If someone is struggling or under pressure, be kind, you’re all in this together. Be prepared for plans to change as some things start to return to normal.
3. Date nights need to be really inventive!
No restaurants, no cinema, no theatre, no long walks in public places, or sneaky weekend breaks. So, how are you going to have quality couple time with each other? If this has been low down on your priority list, now’s the time to bump it up. And if you’re looking for new ways to connect during isolation, you might like to know that some people have found inventive ways to date. One couple even managed to ‘get married’ after their wedding was cancelled. Well…sort of. Their children conducted the ceremony in the back garden and the neighbours acted as witnesses from over the fence. But it just goes to show what you can do if you put your mind to it. A wedding or other celebration like this might bring even more fond memories for the whole family than a more traditional one!
4. There could be a shift in your relationship dynamic
When you’re both living, working, relaxing, exercising, eating in the same space day in, day out, things are going to get repetitive. You may discover the person you started spending time with all those years ago has changed, and it crept up so slowly you may not have even noticed. Living in such close proximity to a partner is going to be a whole new adventure in discovering different sides of each other and what your attitudes, dreams and plans – and what your limits and boundaries - are. You have a golden opportunity to take a brand new look at yourselves and each other and really talk honestly about how you feel. Why not change things around? Chores that have always been divided one way, why not swap?
5. It can increase the likelihood of isolation and conflict
While some couples will thrive on spending more time together, this can be a pressure cooker for others. Finding some balance with alone time and ways to do things individually as well as together is vital for good relationship health.
Don’t forget other family members and friends in isolation too. There are ways to keep in touch with others face to face, and this can help reduce the feeling of isolation as it allows you to virtually visit them, and offload if you need to. It also allows someone you care about the same opportunity.
6. Nothing will happen at all
You’re a solid couple, and have an open, loving and trusting relationship. You may be in a great place right now and are cherishing this extra time you have together or as a new family. Now is the perfect time to just affirm where you both are and continue to support each other. Enjoy!
For more ways to support yourselves and each other, check out Becoming Us, The Couple’s Guide to Parenthood.