Birth marks the beginning of a new journey for you and your partner. You’ll want to make sure you’re as prepared for it as possible. Here’s five ways dads and partners can play an active role in preparing for birth and beyond.
1. Information processor.
You know Mum’s hopes for her birth experience, and better yet, you’re involved in drafting her birth preferences plan. You’re attending antenatal appointments and birth/parenting classes and anticipating all the ways you can be involved. Even if you’re not feeling up to speed during the labour, you can ask questions and be briefed along the way. Dads or partners who are informed can query things on Mum’s behalf, check how she’s coping and slow things down for her. Mums can start to feel overwhelmed when things escalate too quickly and go beyond her control. You can help with this.
2. Bodyguard.
You may not need to stand in front of her, legs planted, arms crossed with a warning glint in your eye, but you can protect Mum from unnecessary interference so she can get on with the task at hand. Whether it’s well-meaning but unhelpful family or friends turning up in the middle of it all, or fielding visitors that want to intrude too soon afterwards. You can also be a go-between, checking that mum is aware, prepared and consenting if birth preferences have to change for any reason and new care providers become involved. Even if things go completely out the window, Mum will be grateful for your support and that you’re right there with her, every step of the way.
3. Lover.
Oxytocin is the love drug that helps things flow more smoothly with labour and delivery and YOU are a giant oxytocin generator, so put yourself to good use! Being free with your affection will help both you and your partner to relax during labour, help her open up during birth, and bring comfort for each other afterwards. Become familiar with the rhythms of labour. Ask your birth team where and how you can massage mum. Maybe you can even learn how to apply acupressure for pain relief. Discuss different birth positions. If your partner wants to stand (gravity helps the baby), you may be able to stand behind her. This way she can lean on you and you will, literally and figuratively, have her back.
4. Heater.
There’s a time and place just after your baby is born that’s perfect for you to step into. Keeping mum warm helps the third stage of labour (after the baby is born but before the placenta comes out). Now’s when you can jump into bed, cuddle and warm her while she’s holding the baby. You can also provide skin to skin with your baby if Mum’s not available for any reason.
5. Half of Team Hero
No matter how your birth unfolds, it helps when you’re able to work as a team through it. Even when they’ve had a difficult birth experience, couples have emerged more appreciative, more grateful for their partner, and more in love than before. The intensity of a positive shared birth experience can bind a couple like nothing they’ve ever experienced.
So, do what you can to prepare for the beginning of the rest of your lives together. You’ll find a plan for what happens after your baby joins you here: www.becomingusfamily.com.