Meet the Facilitator ~ Rachel “Rae” Roberts, Psychologist
Certified Becoming Us Facilitator for Perinatal Preparation, Relationship and Mental Health (PRaM)
How would you describe what you do?
I currently offer all of my clients (both couples and individuals) online programs and sessions via Zoom. (Our online Becoming Us class called “Building a Family” is being scheduled, so please DM me to be put on the notification list for sign-ups. Expecting couples and those who already have their little ones are all welcome!) I also include a Voxer option for those who wish to have additional access to me throughout each month as they may face challenges together and don’t feel able to wait for their next session time. This has actually been quite helpful to many, as we all have relational struggles that are clear in the moment but then we forget about the exact specifics or feelings by the time we get back to the therapy office.
What other professional approaches have you found helpful?
I love and have worked extensively with the programs created by Dr. Sue Johnson and Terry Real. Dr. Johnson’s work is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and it’s modeled around the principles of Attachment Theory and communication. Terry Real’s method is called Relational Life Therapy (RLT), and it’s based on each partner learning how they “do” relationship. That awareness alone can create huge strides forward in a partner to recognize how their own experiences and temperament have shaped how they relate and what they can do about it. These two approaches complement each other quite well, and help each couple see their relationship through a bigger lens, giving them the clarity they often need to work together. And more just for fun, I’m also well-versed in the Enneagram, for those who follow that work and wish to use it in their sessions.
What do you think are the main benefits for parents?
I have heard from hundreds of couples AFTER they've endured these sad effects that they once thought could never happen to them. I hear over and over from my older clients: “Why did no one teach us anything about this stuff in the early days of our marriage and having kids?” We all tend to think that having children will automatically improve our connection with our partner, but it actually takes learning some tools and relational awareness that most of us haven’t quite yet mastered. The stress and tests of this massive life change can and does impact couples in a negative way if they haven’t prepared or at least know what to expect. Resentment between them starts to build. Becoming Us provides a beautiful framework for learning, not only the best relational skills, but also your own unique challenges as a couple, giving you a chance to deepen that connection and relationship even before baby arrives, which will greatly impact your odds for a fulfilling and successful relationship.
Are there any challenges with doing “Becoming Us” work?
The real challenge with this work is discovering how each couple will apply these teachings to their unique needs and desires. I actually love helping them discover these with each other, because there's often a bit of surprise when they find out there is not one “correct” way to do it. This brings an immediate sense of relief for moms and dads to be more accepting of each other’s differences, but then the challenging part begins in learning how to communicate and make the most of all those unique differences.
Do you have a favourite part of your Becoming Us training?
Years ago, I ran wildly successful breastfeeding classes for both mothers and fathers to attend together. They were so beautifully received and emphasized the importance of how much team work is involved for both parents to support one another during this incredible life transition of becoming a family. Rather than being solely for the mother, I love that Becoming Us includes a father's important role in the family unit and helps each parent understand how they can be empowered to do this together, increasing their connection. I am absolutely thrilled to include fathers in these important discussions. It’s been my experience that they are so eager and happy to learn more.
To learn more about Rachel and her parenthood support, check out her website: rachelrobertswysh.com and Instagram at @relationalcoachandmentor